According to research, maintaining a positive attitude can be beneficial for coping with stress. However, toxic positivity is an exception. In fact, it can have detrimental effects on mental health. Instead of acknowledging and addressing negative emotions, toxic positivity promotes an unrealistic expectation of constantly being positive, regardless of the situation. This can lead to feelings of guilt, anxiety, and inadequacy, as people are pressured to suppress or deny their genuine emotions in favor of projecting a false sense of happiness and contentment.
What is toxic positivity?
Toxic positivity imposes the expectation of exclusively exhibiting positive emotions while disregarding any negative emotions, feelings, reactions, or experiences. This invalidation of the human experience can have severe consequences, such as trauma, isolation, and the development of unhealthy coping mechanisms.
Positivity, in and of itself, is not inherently toxic. It is commendable for individuals to seek meaning and find silver linings in negative experiences. However, it is crucial to acknowledge that our emotional spectrum encompasses a wide range of feelings and experiences. The valuable lessons we learn do not arise from suppressing or ignoring these emotions but rather from embracing and processing them.
Examples of Toxic Positivity
Toxic positivity manifests when one constantly ignores negative emotions and pretends that everything is fine. It is akin to using a temporary bandage to cover emotional wounds without addressing the underlying issues. Dismissing genuine feelings can actually be detrimental to one’s mental health, causing more harm than good.
- When faced with a negative event, like losing a job, people may offer well-intentioned advice to “stay positive.” Although these comments are often intended to be sympathetic, they can inadvertently dismiss or invalidate the other person’s feelings and experiences. This can discourage the individual from expressing their true thoughts and emotions about what they are going through.
- The concept of happiness being a choice suggests that people have some control over aspects of their happiness. However, it is crucial to recognize that everyone experiences emotions differently. For some people dealing with mental illnesses like depression or grieving a traumatic loss, happiness may not be readily attainable or within their immediate control. These circumstances can significantly impact one’s ability to choose happiness, highlighting the importance of understanding and supporting those who are facing such challenges.
- After experiencing a loss, it is common for most people to express the belief that “everything happens for a reason.” While such statements are typically made with the intention of offering comfort, they can unintentionally sidestep the pain that the other person is going through. By ascribing a reason or purpose to the loss, there is a risk of downplaying or disregarding the profound emotional experience of the individual.
Why does toxic positivity negatively affect mental health?
Toxic positivity cannot be easily overlooked or disregarded. In fact, it can be seen as a form of gaslighting, which is when someone manipulates your perception of reality. It can lead individuals to disconnect from their negative emotions, justify unacceptable experiences, and even engage in gaslighting behavior towards others.
It is low-key shaming.
Experiencing toxic positivity can evoke feelings of shame. It communicates to individuals that the emotions they are experiencing are unacceptable or unwelcome. In times of suffering, it is beneficial for individuals to know that their emotions are valid and that they can seek solace and support from their loved ones.
It disregards authenticity.
Toxic positivity dismisses and undermines the entirety of human emotions, labeling certain feelings as negative or unacceptable. When individuals embrace this mindset, they tend to repress their uncomfortable emotions, such as grief, sadness, or anger, rather than accepting and experiencing them without judgment.
It causes stress.
Individuals influenced by toxic positivity may find themselves facing even more distressing emotions and judging themselves for having these “bad” feelings. This has a significant impact as it amplifies negative emotions, causing us to ignore our genuine experiences and learn to hide our true emotions when we are in pain, angry, or fearful. Over time, continually suppressing these emotions could lead to a sad and stressful life.
It prevents growth.
Toxic positivity hinders personal growth by enabling us to avoid painful emotions. However, this avoidance prevents us from confronting challenging feelings that have the potential to foster growth and provide us with profound insights.
Lowers self-efficacy.
Every emotion within the spectrum of human feelings is interconnected with our survival instincts. When we disregard the messages conveyed by our own emotions, we become less skilled and less motivated to utilize this valuable information in problem-solving. If we adhere to the belief that “it’s all about our perspective,” we are less inclined to have confidence in our capability or the necessity of finding a resolution.
When should you seek help for toxic positivity?
While navigating through challenging circumstances can contribute to building resilience, it helps to acknowledge that seeking and accepting help is perfectly acceptable. If you find yourself resorting to toxic positivity or living an unhealthy lifestyle to cope with stress, anxiety, depression, or other issues, it may be beneficial to consider professional mental health support.
Visit Mindshift Psychological Services to help you manage your mental health. You have the option to easily connect with a mental health consultant either in person or through virtual platforms when you feel ready to receive care on your own terms and within your preferred schedule. Accessing care is made convenient through them. You can simply contact them at (714) 584-9700 to schedule an appointment.